Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
