its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
