Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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