Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
should my penis look like a turkey
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
