Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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