I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
