ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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