My room smells like vodka and shame
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
