i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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