Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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