I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
