When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
