I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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