# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
