Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
