Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
