thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
