we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
