I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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