Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
