I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We have so much sex to catch up on
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
