Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize