well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
