I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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