After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
ok first of all what the fuck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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