office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I love you. Go after that dick
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
