God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize