Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
