Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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