Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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