wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just google imaged poop.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
