so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
