3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
