We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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