If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
