You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
