I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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