Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
