I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
