Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
