does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
