Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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