my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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