Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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