I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you win again, gameday.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
