I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
