i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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