i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
