Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
