I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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