Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
