so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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