I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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