I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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