So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
