Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
