I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
