writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
