Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
