I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
